Thursday, January 29, 2009

Kid friendly moms and growing up the hard way...

I don't mean you grew up in the Projects or with extreme difficulty in your life each day. What I am talking about is After you had kids. Kids make you grow up fast and it isn't always easy, ya know?

Many of us try to 'un' do what was done while we were growing up and at the same time try to 'do' what was not done that we feel should have been done.

All this agenda managing while taking each day as it comes in the midst of the craziness we call LIFE.

However, in all our planning, hoping, protecting, teaching and letting them fall off the bicycle to help them understand balance, we really screw/ed up sometimes.

So, we ask friends, we ask our moms, we ask our grandmothers.

Then, we are told by teachers, coaches, tutors, physicians, counselors and still... STILL we get it wrong in the midst of all the 'right' we are doing.

I Twittered onto a site today while sipping morning coffee. And I realized: we are all on our OWN journey with this Mom Thing.

And it ain't easy, nope, it is all out action.

And, it's as critical as a soldier standing ground in Afghanistan. There are demands on him/us we never see coming, demands that must be handled perfectly, in a heart beat, in a split second of time.

There are no DVRs to rewind or place on hold while we think things over and nuke a bag of popcorn.

We are in this Motherhood thing for a Life-time. Bottom line is this:

You can't get it right all the time. You can't.

And your friends don't, and your mom didn't.

Well, I read that site till I cried. I had to let it sink in.

And I realized something to add to my LONG list of things to be a great mom...Comfort.

Comfort your kids. It's a small thing. A gentle hug. A smile. A few words that say 'it will be different tomorrow', 'this difficulty won't last forever', 'you are ready for the task at hand and I believe in you and love you'.

Comfort.

Whether your kids are 5 or 45.

We know they need it when they are young but I think as they age we want them to be strong and we tend to withhold Comfort...not meaning to but thinking they aren't babies anymore. We older moms may be more encouraging when Comfort might be a better option. My kids are 20 somethings and I realize they need comfort just like I do at twice their age.

I think we all find little gems along the way, things no one tells us like I did by reading this site.

Might want a box of kleenex handy...OR you might want to skip it entirely and get a mug of hot chocolate and watch Fried Green Tomatoes or the Family Stone (fill in here with your chick flick, crying catharsis movie).

I challenge you this weekend to:

Comfort someone's child...old, young (you) or in between.
Take in the scent of a real rose.
And have TWO mugs of hot chocolate, the calories really don't matter.

((Hugs))
Melissa

4 comments:

  1. How beautifully said, Melissa!!
    I know being Mom isn't easy and we often questions ourselves, but we must remeber we are not perfect!!
    Hugs and love is something all of us kids always looks forward too!!
    Thanks for the wonderful post! It means alot to me!

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  2. I can certainly relate to your post!
    When I became a mother 26 years ago it woke me up to what life was all about.
    I thought I was going to do so much better than my parents, and in some ways I did but as you say we make our own mistakes.I appreciated my parents especially my mother in a way I never did before.
    Becoming a mother was the best thing to happen to me, it brought me out of my ME
    shell and to love in a way I never knew one could love.
    Thank you for your sweet words on my blog today, Ive met some very caring wonderful people in blogland!
    hugs,
    Sandy

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  3. Hi, just loved your words on this. I have strived so hard to be a good mom....and sometimes....it seems it just was not good enough. Maybe I could have done that better, or maybe I should have done this.... I have loved being a mother more than anything I have ever tried to do in life. Now that my children are leaving the nest, I am so thankful to have had the experience of being "mommy" blessings,Kathleen

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  4. How poignant and beautiful to read this post!

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